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Major
Mistakes To Avoid When Adjusting To Single Life
(c) Harlan Jacobsen
Major common mistakes include deciding
you must be married to be happy and therefore making that
quest your number one priority. "I know how to be
married. I see myself as married and I can not be
happy until I am married again." So in a short time,
married again.... and divorced again. Their goal never
was to be happy, only to be married. So they buy a wash
and wear wedding gown and just keep trying. They never learned
to be happy on their own and their new mate decides it is
just too big a job.
Complete disclosure
of this subject in our archive series on recovering from
divorce. Another common mistake
is going bananas (extremes) and dating everything and everybody
that says, "Hi," to the max...to the complete neglect of
other facets of their life. Or the other extreme of
withdrawing and avoiding all contact with the opposite sex.
Not even neutral contact with any member of the opposite
sex, in any function, in any way that may even provide an
opportunity to talk to the opposite sex. These extremes
will often mimic a roller coaster ride. Extreme initial
dating can result in an emotionally disastrous ending with
total withdrawal from all dating for years to come.
The archive
series on dating again. Failing to recognize
that as a single person you continue to have normal needs,
is a major mistake. You need to recognize them as normal.
You must learn to handle and fulfill those needs in an acceptable
way as a single person that improves life. These normal
needs should not remain unfulfilled.
Articles on the
subject will be found in archives and in some of our dating
series. Many make the mistake
of concluding that somehow they must be defective or they
would not be single and that not only they, but other singles
are all defective or rejects from the "normal world."
They are being forced to associate with misfits. When they
get near the dating world, they find it nothing like when
they were last single at 20 and now no one seems even slightly
interested. They feel each rejection confirms that
they have lost it and life is all but over for them.
This is a personal
misguided programming problem we take up in many articles.
*New articles and additional
parts of serial series are posted on the web and appear
in our Singles Monthly Newspapers.
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