Happiness
©
2001 Harlan Jacobsen
- Short Cut To Happiness Jiffy Version
This could be a thick book on
how to find happiness as a single person. Instead
we are going to boil it down to a few paragraphs and therefore
ask you to pay close attention and make an extra
effort to change your programming in order for
this to work for you.
Most of your unhappiness comes from your "expectations
and demands" programming mindset.
What happens out there in your world is run
against your basic program mindset of "expectations
and demands" you have and what comes out is
unhappiness.
Your
world out there rarely shapes up.
Now you can continue to beat your brains
out, (which is what you have been doing) trying to get your
world out there to shape up to meet your expectations
and demands. Lots of work, frustration, failure and
unhappiness.
or....get rid of, drop, dump,
eliminate, give up, discard, delete, your expectations and
demands programming.
Insert new software that replaces
"expectations and demands" and simply
converts them to "preferences".
Lets go over that again.....this is the
"big secret" program change that can change your
life.
Simply drop all "expectation and
demand" well ingrained programming. (well, doing so
is not so easy but that's your job) hereafter they are "preferences".
That's it....secret is right there....all
you have to do is make the internal program change......
Equals
big improvement in your happiness, in your personality, your desirability
as dating material, your health and even your life expectancy.
Okay, Okay, you really do not understand it
without writing the book....for you to wade thru...
So here is a short explanation. Lets
say you expect and demand that your 4th grade son
study, study and get all A's. He comes home with all C's. You
are unhappy and you see to it he is unhappy.
Now with your new software changing all this
to "preferences", you now "prefer"
he get all A's but when he does not it does not affect yours
or his happiness. He is still just as motivated, except now
you do not make yourself and everyone else miserable.
Got the difference? Same
happening different programming equals better result.
Lets say as a woman, you go to a singles
dance and your expectation and demand is that all the
desirable men there will ask you for a dance.
You are crushed when no one asks you
to dance all evening and your life as a happy single person is
set back six months, not by what happened at the dance, but by
your expectations and demands programming.
With the all new improved "preference"
software you would have preferred someone at least ask
you to dance but since they did not, then you learned that you
need to do a little research what you maybe did wrong, and
that you could do different or improve at the next "get
them to ask me to dance" practice.
You are not unhappy, you just learned
you need to change a few things.
Now let's say you read Janet's article on
how to ask men to dance so next dance you ask ten men to dance
with you, and the first 2 turn you down.
With your old "expectation and
demand" programming requiring they all dance with
you, would have made you so discouraged and unhappy, you went
home and got out the wine bottle.
With "you
prefer" they dance with you programming you
continue and wind up with 7 out of ten you ask to dance with
you do so. Next dance you improve that ratio etc.
Let us take your divorce. Your
expectation and demand is that your marriage should have
lasted for ever. It did not meet those demands so you are unhappy.
You expected your spouse if they were
leaving to go thru certain expectations and demands of
the way you believe they should have done it if they were
leaving and they did not so you are very angry and unhappy.
If your new "prefer" they
left using a certain procedure and they did not, you are not
wiped out emotionally. You realize they were not a perfect
spouse and probably were not very good at leaving
procedures either. If your expectation and demand was that if
they are leaving you must have your standard of living
maintained.
Well, what income used to support one
household must now support two households so you are very
unhappy with your divorce outcome when you must lower your
standard of living.
Your expectation and demand
programming rarely deals with reality.
So you are very unhappy even when it makes no sense. Change to
"preference software".
Since we are to busy to write the book we
will just tell you that in order to implement this change you
will have to consciously work at this program switch every
time something happens in your world that makes you unhappy.
You will need to do this for 21 days
and if you do a good job of consciously making the change,
after that it will be automatic and your
life will be changed forever.